#art, What! You’re Going to Study Art?

You want to study art? At a university? But at uni professors don’t know anything about how to be an artist, it’s all academic there…

Are you going to be taught how to make art or glorify those who dedicate themselves to video, performance and installation (VIP)? They’re going to drill into your head that Warhol was a genius, that Jeff Koons is the Wizard of Oz, and that Damien Hirst is bang on perfect…

Go ahead, study, but keep in mind that university education is a waste of time. Ask Lennon and McCartney and they’ll tell you that the only way to learn is on the fly. The university is only good for you to end up, after being bestowed with that bachelor’s, master’s, or doctorate, facing life with no clue how to fit in and wind up getting depressed. And once you’re beaten, defeated and wasted, you’ll start…without even realising it…your career as a failed artist.

You’ll say that the art world is a fraud, a piece of shit, and that you’ll only be recognized when you’re dead. After all the only famous artists are the dead ones. You’re right. Keep going like that, failure is your goal and you’ll get there. Walk around dressed like a ragpicker…a starving artist… and constantly talk about Van Gogh, Warhol, and Dalí. Remind everyone who approaches you… if anyone does… that those were tormented artists and that only Dalí lived well because he came from a wealthy family. Go to all the vernissages and gallery openings and tell everybody you’ve got shows lined up in Ulan Bator, Upper Volta, and Oshkosh and that Jeff Koons thinks you’re smashing good…

Next step on your road to being a failed artist is to become addicted to drugs and to become a drunk because that way you won’t be able to paint, sculpt, or do anything. So don’t paint, don’t read about art, don’t worry about composition, perspective, colour theory or even knowing who the hell was Michelangelo. And if someone sees one of your few paintings and tells you how poorly it is painted, tell them that art has no rules and that you can do whatever you want. Or just tell them that they don’t have the sensitivity to recognise the sufferings of a tormented artist. That’s how you’ll be a great failure. After all that’s what you’ve set out to do…

And well, I haven’t seen much of life or ventured much out of my cave, except for that one summer afternoon when I was taken to see the King and Queen in the streets of Mallorca…

Y ahora para aquellos que entendéis el castellano, aquí os dejo el vídeo que inspiro todo lo que en inglés he escrito.

Gracias…